Come to the Change Table
In the time it takes to read this column, approximately four billion five hundred million cells have died and been replaced in your body. Metathesiophobia is a phobia for fear of change. We are afflicted by it. We may have difficulty pronouncing the word, but we have more difficulty, even when the irrefutable facts change, coming to the table being open and comfortable with change. For instance, a wife whose husband has beating her for years, may tell me “But I promised for better or worse.” My heart might be breaking for her but knowing I have to change my response of “pack your bags,” allows me to quietly ask, “How long in your world must one be abused before change is an option.”
My life has blessed me with the wonderful awareness that I need to marry change, invite it in, serve it tea. At seventy-one things drop, lines form, necks wobble and restrooms become more important. The values of my children and grandchildren may not be the same as my values. I watch them flounder and remember that I too often resisted change. I too brought my self to my knees a few times with my own misguided decisions and unwillingness to change before I was able to make change a friend.
What might it be like if change was not a dirty word? Might we treasure it as the art form of transformation? Might we embrace the deeper meaning in “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the strength to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference”? Could we perhaps see change as a pathway of self-discovery or would we continue to color only within the lines? Without change women and minorities still could not vote, there would be no computer for me to create these words on and we would still not be talking about addictions. We wouldn’t be examining our life styles and food intake and levels of toxins in our bodies. No, we’d still be slapping a buffalo on the fire pit and uttering guttural sounds.
It’s time to come to the table on this issue and let change create you and the kind of life you desire. The winds of change ore blowing our hair back and we are still trying to stand still. If we are to thrive, we must see change in the context of purpose, both individually and as a human family. We are not listening to the voices of our spirit or our hearts. Change will repair the separation we experience with our own souls/spirits and with each other. We can to allow the new parts of ourselves to be born. A change from radical individualism and “me-ism” to the consciousness that there is just one human family will heal the pain in the planet. We need a shift in awareness from this or that and either or, to a simply “and & both. In every moment, there is an end to an era and a beginning to a new one, just as precious and rich but for newfound and more current purposes.
What would happen if you never turned the page to your favorite book or listened to the next heart-warming song? Whether change is happy or sad it is movement to the next beautiful thing life offers. It’s a sacred experiment. We are stuck in lack, thinking that letting go of this or that and what we hold on to in the moment means a loss, when in fact it makes room for a new gift.
Have you noticed that even when you resist change it still comes knocking at your door? Our spirits call it in so that we can evolve our own souls, so it comes back repeatedly. Sit at the table with it without fear. I lived in eleven different schools by the time I was in 12th grade. That has given me experiences in life about people that are invaluable. I can recognize authentic loving energy before it walks through the door. I also, recognize instantly when a person is not authentic or loving and I can shut the door which allows me to create the quality of life I want and deserve. Great lessons and tools.
Embracing change gives you solid proof that you are capable of having your own back and being your own best friend with circumstances that may not be in your round house of experience. Embracing change creates continued growth, and increases your quality of life and empowers the strength of your courage and spirit. The next time change knocks, invite it in and wait to see the gift it brings.
© Dr Dina Evan 2013
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