My Saturday evening was quiet. There was a gentle energy of discomfort in my body and discontent in the air that I couldn’t shake. My friend Jeanne Cordova was somehow with me. I knew she was leaving, dying and I could not release that knowing to focus on anything else. We have known each other for more than 30 years and life had happened in the last ten years, separating us in time and distance. She was in L.A. with her partner Lynn Ballen and I was in Phoenix. However, only moments matter…the moments we created in the thirty years kept rising in my memory, bubbling up from my heart, creating smiles and tears and a sense that I wanted to be with her. Friendships of that length and texture are gold, not to be dismissed by earthly limitations. They are of the Beloved.
I smiled remembering the times we bumped heads over my metaphysical beliefs and her Catholic up bringing. Eventually we began to vibrate somewhere in the middle where she began collecting the symbols of her heritage in large Mexican blankets, pots and Indian statues with wondrous stories and I dug deeper exploring the spirit of my soul in metaphysical teaching and energy magic. We shared our discoveries late at night wrapped up in quilts and blankets on the floor as we taught each other, laughed at each other and cried together. So this night, I sat with her in spirit as we had before, and I knew. I asked the Universe to clothe her in peace and safety and eventually I went to bed.
At quarter to five in the morning my phone rang with a text message from Lynn. “Jeanne was dying…would I call?” I did and for the next two hours Lynn, Jeanne’s beloved partner of more than twenty-six years and I walked our precious Jeanne home. Lynn was in agony, hearing the painful moans of her partner and could no longer bear it. I asked her to put the phone next to Jeanne’s ear and we began our talk gently…just as we had for so many years before. I reminded her that she had done what she came here to do. Jeanne was an activist for gay rights, women’s rights and the right to free speech. She had riled people’s ire from one coast to the other until people gave in just to get rid of her. They also gave in because in their secret, politically no-so-correct hidden places in their character, they also knew she was right. I told her she was so loved and that she could breathe through the pores in her body now and rest her lungs. I told her to hold Lynn’s hand and go check out the other side and then come back. I told her when she was ready to stay there, that her mom, whom I had prayed to the night before, would come and get her and walk her home. Within about thirty minutes the moaning and the pain in the fearful resistance that death creates stopped and there was peace in Jeanne and in the room. “She’s stopped breathing,” Lynn said tearfully. Jeanne was gone, leaving behind only a cancer torn body that was no longer of use to a mighty spirit.
This is not meant to be a sad story! I write about it this month, because it is the month of Valentines and love and because it is about the most meaningful connections in our lives. They are the ones with depth and angst and ups and downs and sometimes years between. They provide meaning and truth and realness. They are the ones that permeate our hearts with commitments beyond human understanding and never let go, no matter what. They are the relationships of recognition through space and time that change the very tapestry of our soul. They crack our hearts open and demand integrity and presence from our spirit. They are amazing and a true gift of love from the Universe. Jeanne with all her edges, just like each of us with ours, was a gift from the Universe to my life. And today, and in each tomorrow, I will celebrate her.
Don’t miss the gifts of love in your life. Sometimes they come in the form of a child, a boss, a teacher, an ex-partner, a friend, a beloved partner, a grandchild or even a stranger in a single moment whom you see and who truly sees you. These are the real blessings of life. Hold them close. Nurture them. Respect them and give them their due. They deserve to be the priority in your life. They deserve your commitment, your presence and your integrity for as long as you have them. Love doesn’t always have to be romantic, or sexual. It only has to be real, because these relationships are the ones that last a lifetime and beyond. Here’s to you Jeanne. I will see you on the other side and we’ll catch up creating new moments wrapped in blankets and love.
© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2016. All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.