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Stopping the Drama and Pain In Relationships

What Works:

1. A commitment to living in a non-violent, contempt free relationship.
2. A willingness to give up grandiosity.
3. Asking for what you need with an authentic voice or your heart space.
4. Break down requests so that partners can understand how to you what you need. Empower each other to succeed.
5. Seeing the issues as “we, our” or mutual issues.
6. Releasing the need to punish or achieve retribution or retaliation.
7. Stepping back to see the big picture and what really matters, moment to moment.
8. Release resentment and the need to hold on to the injury in order to be one up.
9. A willingness/commitment to keep trying.
10. Stepping into your own positive power and taking responsibility for your own actions and decisions as an adult. – Stop the blame game.
11. Doing your personal work to build self-esteem and resolve old issues in order to build confidence and reduce co-dependency.
12. Understand the effect contemptuousness has on children and those around you.
13. Fight fair, without name calling, accusations, or demeaning statements.
14. Remember the goal is more love, not more power.
15. Cherish each other, the family and the importance of relationships of every kind.

What Doesn’t Work:

1. Contemptuousness
2. Grandiosity
3. Guilt and shaming
4. The need for retribution
5. Distance
6. You statements and accusations
7. Holding on to the injury past resolve to stay in control or be one up
8. Refusing to forgive because of your own fears of intimacy
9. Compliance
10. Being above the rules or entitled
11. Need to be right
12. Controlling the other through intimidation, interrogation, shaming
13. Unbridled self-expression or raging
14. Retaliation
15. Compliance (builds resentment)
16. Non-compliance (passive-aggressive)
17. Indifference – Withdrawal
18. Payback or withhold
19. Character assignation
20. A loss of cherishing, open-heartedness and romance

Dr. Dina Evan
Contact Dr. Dina Now

Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan - Coaching for Individuals and Couples
Telephone: (602)997-1200 FAX: (602)997-0970

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