I think God got it backwards. By the time
you have all the tools and start to understand how
this wondrous system called life works, your body starts
to fall apart. What was She thinking?
When you are young you have so many ideas about how
life works and what it all means. And then it changes
and you wake up about the time you hit 40 something.
In my youth, we disciplined children and set reasonable
limits, now we indulge them and set no limits in order
to build self-esteem. Of course, since the world does
not function in that way, once these kids arrive in
the world as adults who expect to be pampered, they
fail.
We have pushed out the limits of our sexuality so far
that there is no longer anything special, exclusive
and sacred about what we can offer our beloved. The
same thing gets offered to everyone.
We have abused our power and called it leadership.
We have closed our minds and called it discipline.
We have lost value for human beings and called it productivity.
We have disconnected from nature and called it progress.
We have fallen into dogma and doctrine and called it
religious freedom. We proclaim a love for humanity
and freedom and attempt to achieve it through execution
and war – all the while refusing to let those
who suffer from terminal illnesses end their pain.
We’ve traded soul work for stock portfolios.
We create a billon dollar industry abusing children,
women and men with pornography and called it freedom
of expression. We beat ourselves up unmercifully for
where ever we are in life and push and prod ourselves
beyond reasonable limits and call it ambition. And
then suddenly, it hits you at about age 40. None of
this feels very good. None of this really seems to
fit the truth of who we are. None of this is very satisfying.
Then, in some unexpected statement out of some innocent’s mouth, in some
timbering flash of awareness, in some comic jolt to the psyche - a window to
the mind gets opened and fresh new sunlight starts to filter in and somehow new
priorities creep through in a way that is so refreshing to your soul. You begin
to breathe deeper and a new understanding creeps into your cells that makes you
aware that everything is really fine somehow. Everything is, in fact, exactly
as it should be. All that limited thinking and self-induced writhing, all that
batting at and bumping up against the world like a blind child with outstretched
arms had a purpose. This whole damn exercise was about you getting to this point
in life where things begin to make sense.
You suddenly realize in some bitter-sweet euphony, that you have been the one
who created every thought, every action – every reality in your whole life
through your own choices and thoughts. You suddenly get that every experience
and every individual in your life, whether perceived as good or bad, was a master
teacher in service to your own soul. All those people you thought did you in – wrong!
You did yourself in when you called them into your life and chose to dance with
them. It was all perfect because of everything you learned. You find an awareness
creeping slowly into your body at a cellular level that says, Wait a minute,
if you created the past, you can now create the future differently with different
choices – more loving and self-respecting ones. And then and there you
have it. You are finally awake – at about age 40 something. Freedom has
finally and truly arrived. It is an exquisite, mind-boggling, spine-tingling
awareness – with one exception - there are no more excuses!
So what do we do with it? Nothing – everything - just be it. I guess the
truth is that if I had come to this when I was in my twenties, I would not have
appreciated it so much. I would not have felt such compassion and love both for
myself or others. I would not have that certain sense of pride and self-respect
from making different choices.
I guess the exquisite wisdom is after all, that until you get to some place near
the end, it is impossible to know that the whole point, is the journey itself.
Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan - Coaching
for Individuals and Couples Telephone: (602)997-1200 FAX: (602)997-0970
Call for appointments, schedule
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