Priorities

What Matters, Anyway?

What really matters? Who are we, what are we really here for and who, other than our mothers, gives a damn? I do! And I want these questions answered. Maybe it's because I am getting older. Maybe it's because some of the people in my life who are about my age are leaving the planet. Maybe it's because I am worried about our children, the inside ones as well as the outside ones. Maybe it's because as you age you start to see even the tiniest flaws in your own character the way the smallest wrinkles glare back at you. But, whatever the reason, I think we have to wake up and find out what really matters…NOW! All around, those who are dying and those who are being born remind me that life is come and gone like a single harmonic chord from the sound of Spirit. In an instant it appears to be over and what will it all have meant? What matters?

For four to eight year olds…what matters is someone who says your name softer. What matters is what's in the room when mom tucks you in at night or kisses your bruised knee. What matters is the look in your parents' eye; even when you feel you might have disappointed them.

For nine to thirteen year olds…What matters is someone who shows up at your games and flies over the bleachers to yell at the ump when you get hit with the ball. What matters is hearing Mom or Dad say you are beautiful or handsome even when you feel like your body doesn't fit. What matters is knowing that that even though you are changing, what Mom and Dad feel for you never will. Sleepovers with your friends really matter.

For fourteen to nineteen year olds…What matters is grandparents who understand when you'd rather be with your boyfriend or girl friend. What matters is the cute girl or guy in algebra who wants to go steady. And it matters that Mom and Dad still remember what it felt like when they tested the limits.

For twenty to thirty-something year olds…What matters is homes, kids, togetherness, achievements, acquisitions and stolen moments.

For thirty-something to forty-something year olds…What matters is forgiving, understanding and getting more tools to do it better.

For forty-something to fifty-something year olds…What matters is taking a breath, settling in, finding and feeling the truth of who you are.

For fifty-something to whatever-something year olds…What matters is waking up, going deeper and meaning more. What matters is quiet moments, being remembered and deeply valued. Why does it take us so long to discover what really matters?

Maybe it would be easier if we knew right from the beginning that we are each here to find and claim what really matters. You'll find yours in the center of that dramatic experience during which, like a lightening bolt, you change your whole perspective. It's in the moment you release control and let someone love you. It's in the instant you realize you don't have all the answers and you relax about it. It's in the step you decide to take to finally change the direction of your life. It's in the middle of your purpose for living on this Earth. What really matters is in your decision to choose ethics over comfort, union over separation or love over fear. What really matters can be found in your courage to embrace life, live it fully and fill it with joy. What matters is that you choose to show up on your own side.

You have this minute, these hours and years to make of life what you wish - to find what really matters - or not. When you choose to direct all of your energies toward this goal, and not toward all the things that will wear out long before you do, or the things you cannot take with you when you leave, the Universe becomes the wind beneath you and your safety is insured. What really matters will come to you with joy. In fact, one day, you will be It.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2008 
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