Legs that can’t stop kicking. Nails
that continue to be bitten. A total lack of trust in
anyone or anything. Sleepless nights spent ruminating.
An inability to stop running, on the inside or the
outside. These symptoms are not always the signs of
a therapeutic or chemical disorder. They could be signs
of -The Worst.
When THE WORST happens in your childhood, you can end
up feeling as if THE WORST is always going to happen
so you live life with an ASSUME THE WORST attitude.
This assume the worst attitude becomes a protective
mechanism that allows you to be more prepared for – you
guessed it – the worst. If you don’t stop
and remember at some point that you are no longer a
child who needs this defense mechanism in order to
survive, you could spend your life in flight or fight,
always waiting for the other shoe to drop and feeling
certain that something about you is causing each disaster.
People who assume the worst are hedging their bets,
cushioning the fall and trying to anticipate and prepare
for whatever bad thing is coming. It is a self-protective
mechanism. However, while in this belief, you expend
tons of energy and countless hours of worry and fretting
over imagined consequences. You forfeit hours of joy.
In addition, you, no doubt, have a compromised immune
system that is working over time expecting that big
boogeyman that seldom arrives…the worst. The
worst already happened and you already survived it.
Never again will you be a 3-foot helpless child without
any support system, without the power of language or
body size and cognitive reasoning. Never again will
you be in a position where you can’t find the
answers or get what you need to be ok. You can take
a breath. You can let your shoulders down. You can
stop running. You already courageously survived the
I know some of you are thinking, Well what about this bad thing that could happen?
That would be the worst thing in the world for me! Perhaps there are still things
in life that would feel terrible and difficult to overcome. However, at this
point in your life, you are an adult who is not helpless and who is able to reach
out for the support ant tools you need in order to survive whatever comes….unlike
when you were a child. No doubt, over the past many years, you have put some
additional tools in your tool bag and you have learned a thing or two. You are
probably making different choices that are self-loving and self-respecting. You
also probably have a good intuitive read when trouble walks through your door.
All of which makes you safer.
Too many of us are living out of our red wagon of bad past experiences. These
experiences of the past continue to control our decision making process today.
They inhibit our willingness to take a risk, try something new or imagine the
unimaginable. We look back at the times when we had an empty tool bag, were not
as evolved spiritually and were less emotional equipped to handle life’s
vicissitudes and challenges. With those memories as our defining factor we pass
on opportunities to venture out and create new and better realities for ourselves.
In other words, we remain stuck in our past waiting for the worst. We have forgotten
what safety feels like, if we ever felt it.
It is important to give your mind and body the experience of safety on an energetic
level. For instance, right now, put the paper down and just feel your surroundings.
Notice that nothing and no one bad is coming. Notice your breathing and slow
it down a bit. Let your shoulders drop and imagine what safety might feel like
in your belly, in every one of the cells in your body. Become aware of the energy
that surrounds you. Tell your body it can let go. Listen to chatter in your mind
and thank that voice for working overtime to protect you. Let it know that you
are finally safe and it no longer has to have that responsibility. Give it a
new job, like being in charge of the fun quotient, and let it have permission
to let go. It might just be that the worst thing happening in your life now,
is getting rid of the worst.