uealse Emotions - Dr. Dina Evan's Columns

Archive for the ‘Emotions’ Category

The New Scrooge

So, how do you feel about emotional stinginess? Lately, I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to call this passive–aggressive form of abuse that is so hard to identify, but is nonetheless crazy making. I hear it in my office. I experience it in my personal life, and have been trying to put my finger on exactly what it is that is so troublesome about people with this character flaw.

This new kind of emotional Scrooge communicates with a smiling, Who me, demeanor and hides behind a shroud of innocence, good intention and catchy new age phrases. They will say they love you and then treat you like you are invisible. They will talk about how important you are to them, but never show up to offer real support. When confronted with bad behavior, they will respond with,  “Oh let’s not go back to the past, I like being in the now.” This kind of person is often ambiguous, indirect and deals with issues without taking a modicum of personal responsibility. Easily they seem to  sweep everything under the rug and just push on with renounced rage. You can be bleeding out on the floor in gushes of emotional pain and ole’ stingy shows no empathy and refuses to do what would reasonably be expected from any caring human being. With a superior tinge of veiled hostility he or she implies that it’s all your issue or insecurity.

This kind of Scrooge trivializes your concerns or feelings and makes them insignificant which leaves you trying to explain yourself over again and again thinking there must be something you didn’t explain well, after all it is inconceivable to you that this person cannot see the pain you are in, much less be unwilling to do anything about it. Didn’t they just say the loved you?

This of course leaves you appearing to be the one who neurotically just can’t let things go. This withhold of honest emotional support makes you start to question yourself about everything you feel. You know in a tangible way that something is undeniably wrong, but our Scrooge is so sincere and convincing that you cannot help but begin to question what you know to be true.

Emotional Scrooges forget a lot. They forget meetings with you, important promises they made to you and they forget the important issues you have been trying to confront and resolve with them. This consistent lack of caring is a covert manipulation that results in you appearing to be the “nagging or needy” one.  They say things like, “I can never please you, I am sorry I continue to disappoint you, I can never do enough for you” or “I can never do it right.” This denial and avoidance of the issues leaves you feeling some how tricked while scrooge continues to withhold any action or sincere demonstration of real empathy. In fact he or she deliberately withholds exactly what you want and need in order to maintain the illusion of having the power and control.  You can go back a million or more times in genuine attempts at resolution, and still you’ll hear the same self-serving response; “There is nothing wrong with me. Why can’t you let it go?”  But, there is distance. But, there is withhold and coldness. But, there is disconnect and a lack of any genuine caring. And, Scrooge simply doesn’t care.

Of course you can’t let it go because the anger keeps coming at you and the aggression keeps being acted out in passive-aggressive ways that are debilitating to you and the relationship. This elusive, pervasive hidden aggression leaves you feeling violated and frustrated and often with the only out being that you ultimately separate yourself physically and emotionally feeling exhausted.  This kind of denial kills your relationship and drains your spirit. It is the most insidious, unfair and dangerous. It can make you feel crazy.   Overt abuse is easier. You can name it.  You can see it.  Others can validate it.

People who behave in this way very often have fragile egos that cannot admit to any fault. They protect themselves with this behavior so that they do not have to look at the truths that would make them feel sad about themselves and ashamed. This behavior can also come from a false sense of pride and arrogance covering over a lack of self-esteem and an inordinate need to stay in control. Regardless of where it comes from, unless the person is will to heal it, you can’t create a meaningful relationship. Stop trying to.  Focus on yourself and do what you need to do to feel healthy. Get your strength and clarity back and if Scrooge is not willing to grow and change…well you’ll know what to do.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.

Contempt is Contagious

Terry Real, author of New Tools for Marriage, says, “Non-violent living is contempt free. Contempt that is projected outward is grandiosity. Contempt that is projected inward is shame.” That is a huge statement in a world filled with a huge amount of contempt!

We are all suffering from contemptuousness and it is creating separation in our personal relationships and in our world. We are angry with our parents, often decades after perceived and or real injures have occurred. We don’t stop to realize that, as adults, at some point along the way we became accountable for our own reality and quality of life and they probably did the best they could with what they had. We like being the victims to our parents. It gives us a false sense of power and control. It also gives us an excuse for not taking control of our own lives, or being lovingly involved in theirs.

We are remain angry and contemptuous with past lovers and mates for eons for the wrongs they inflicted upon us, never owning that we chose them, stayed with them and even enabled them along the way. We almost never own our part in the demise of relationships, it’s easier to name the villain and stay the victim.

We are contemptuous, with people who are different, other countries, other religions, other beliefs and those who express differences of opinion. And of course we express contempt for our elderly and our children. We are so contemptuous of our children that millions are abused, trafficked, sold or abandoned every year. We are so contemptuous of our elderly many die alone in institutions where no one cares. We have become an angry society whose relationships and values are literally falling apart.

We also have contempt for ourselves. That is why we opt for the energy of death so often, through addiction, unattended to emotional pain and activities that kill our spirits. We stay in abusive relationships, we choose addicted or abusive friends and we eat nuclear waste. And let us not forget the contempt we have for the planet whose inhabitants we are slowly killing.

We get a false sense of being powerful when we have someone to despise and blame and name as evil. True power, however, always comes from our willingness to accept that as a spiritual being, we alone created everything in our life in service to our own soul. We created the things that break our heart open and we created the things that fill them with joy. Doom and gloom? Not at all.

You can’t fix something until you are willing to look at it and own it. It is time to commit to living in a contempt free way both in our personal relationships and in the world. Let’s give up the grandiosity and opt to let go of resentments that foster greater hostility. Think about what could happen if we decided to ask for what we need with an authentic, non-blaming voice that had no need to punish. You know, from the heart. If we could just step back and see the bigger picture. What do we really want? Is it not to be genuinely connected with someone who loves us? Is it not to be in a peaceful world where difference can flourish?

We have to learn to cherish each other again. We have to learn to cherish our lives. Awareness, personal responsibility, courage and gentleness need to be the weapons of our heart – the weapons of today’s warriors. We can stop when we have the tendency to distance each other though contempt. When painful feelings arise they are always about us, not the other person. Taking the time to face and explore those feelings becomes the stepping-stones to your own emotional development and empowerment. It’s all in that precious moment when the desire to distance arises. It’s in that precious face across from you when you suddenly feel a need to blame. And it’s in your own precious heart where the truth and love always await you. Everything in our life is an opportunity for us to step into our own enlightened and loving power…that place where contempt is no longer possible and only love exists.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.

If You Really Loved Me

Q: Every year in June I get my hopes up thinking I’ll receive a really nice anniversary gift, flowers or something that says. “I Love You.” Why does it seem the love moves out after the lover moves in?

Years ago in California, I had a client whose husband was a brain surgeon. Each year on their anniversary he out did himself with one expensive gift after another, each better and bigger than the last. Guess what. My client never felt loved by him and eventually she took her children and left. She never felt loved by him because the most important things that he could give her were never offered. Presence. Compassion. Care. Truth. Honesty. Support. Instead, she got yet another Judith Leiber Bag or diamond tennis bracelet. None of which kept her warm or helped her to feel loved. What she felt, was empty.

Relationships are the toughest and, at the same time, the most rewarding gift of any. Like love itself, they are filled with the most frightening energy of intimacy and at the same time, the most profound possibility. That is, if you are really present and doing the work. And, now is the time to begin doing your work. We are living in very special times when we are able to see the result of our effort very quickly and more profoundly than ever before. Haven’t you noticed that lately that you no sooner think of a thing – fearful or loving – before it manifests in some way, in some form in your life? Do your feelings seem deeper and more available than before? The energy around us is now most supportive of spiritual growth and conscious awareness, so, this is a great time to begin to use your relationship as your own personal spiritual tool for enlightenment. After all, it’s the best tool your have.

If you are ready, I have some important steps you can take for deepening your relationship. These are not for those folks still in relationship kindergarten who are sleeping around, lying and telling people what they want to hear. These are for those of you who are ready for deep meaningful relationships. Committing to these goals may be the best gift you could give each other for Valentines day. I’d love to hear about your process. Write and tell me what you discover in yourself and in your beloved. Most of all, have fun!

Seven Steps to Creating Conscious Relationships

1. I Commit to Achieve Intimacy.

I commit to recognizing, owning and clearing away the obstacles I put in the way of my ability to be close. I will identify and name the defense mechanisms I use to distance, close my heart, abandon myself, abandon my partner, abandon friends or family members in order to avoid telling my truth or creating intimacy.

2. I Communicate and reveal my truths openly. I honor my partner’s truths by being trustworthy.

I will not conceal parts of myself, even those parts of which I am not proud. Holding parts of myself back in relationship is self-defeating. I can’t be committed unless I am fully present and willing to be transparent. Conscious relationship means microscopic truth telling. Conscious relationship also means showing respect for each other’s boundaries. I will honor my right and my partner’s right to reveal our truths only as it is safe to do so. I will honor my partner’s truth as a sacred trust and will not reveal it to others without his or her permission.

3. I Take Full Responsibility for My Own Needs and my own Growth.

I have the power to take charge of my life and stop being a victim. I have the power to stop my dependence on substance, obsessive activity, bad relationships or people whom I have made responsible for my self-esteem, security and happiness. The times when I project blame and shame onto other’s, are the times when I have forgotten that I am in charge of my own reality and healing. I will not expect my partner to deal with the consequences of my refusal to do my own work.

4. I Commit to joy and laughter in my relationship.

I am aware that relationships take immense courage and commitment and, therefore, I also commit to creating equal joy. I accept the ups and downs in relationship as a normal part of the process and my personal opportunities for growth. I take the time to enjoy the strengths, creativity and healing in my partner, in myself and in my relationship.

5. I Commit to Releasing the Learned Behaviors/ and Negative Programming that no longer serves Me.

I accept that I am ever changing and so are those I love. I will not hold on to pain or anger from the past . Neither will I hold on to negative behaviors that diminish my self-worth or are harmful or demeaning to myself or others. I promptly admit my mistakes. I do not accept responsibility for, or cover-up for, the mistakes of others. I commit to stay in the process until the issues are resolved or there is an agreement to disagree.

6. I Commit to some path of service to the planet and all sentient beings.

As I grow in consciousness and awareness that I am a sacred human being and as such am interrelated with all other sentient beings, I commit to actions that restore peace and balance on the planet. I commit to assisting others in the discovery and joy of conscious relationship and conscious living. I will do this first and foremost by committing to my own growth and increasing awareness.

7. I Commit to act honorably with reference to the issue of monogamy in my committed mate relationships.

If I have committed to be monogamous, I willingly make the choice not bring anyone else, or any one else’s energy into our physical relationship. I will provide a safe place for each of us to completely unfold and give fully of ourselves. I will not play with, or encourage other people’s attraction to me. I willingly choose not spend time with people who cannot or will not honor our commitment as partners. I will not use affection as hostage or reward – nor will I create a space of with hold that is lacking in unconditional love in which error may occur.

If I have not committed to be monogamous, I will speak clearly and truthfully about my intentions and I will not act deceptively to have my needs filled in ways that are not in agreement with our contract. I will honor my spiritual relationships with truth.

Conscious relationships are a commitment and gift to self. They teach you to be:

(1) Be Fully Aware And Present

(2) Be Authentic – Experience all your feelings

(3) Be Committed – Keep your agreements and increase your level of integrity

(4) and Be Joyful!

Take a minute to imagine how much soul deep work could be accomplished if you knew your partner would never cheat on you, lie to you, betray you or leave you without an honorable end to your contract. These gifts of safety and integrity provide unlimited opportunities for your own growth and growth toward each other! Light candle. Put on some music. Sit across from each other. Renew your vows with these commitments to even deeper love and growth.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.

Faking It – In the Name of Love

In this month of facades, fakes, costumes and pretend… I have begun to feel like Halloween is a great mirror of some of our relationships. A lot of our relationships are just plain fake. For instance…
We play… if you really loved me you would be jealous of any one who finds me attractive. Are you kidding? Why aren’t we delighted that people find our mate attractive and trust that our love is secure or get to work on it?

We expect that our partners should pretend that every thing we do is perfect. Or, is it really a more courageous act of trust to tell us when we are not being who they know we really can be?
We want our partners to play Merlin with if you loved me wouldn’t you intuit what I need and want without my ever having to ask. Or, would you expect me to act like an adult and respect my ability to determine what I need for myself and ask for it directly?

Then there’s the pretend game of if you really loved me wouldn’t you want to spend all your free time with me. Or, would you be safe enough to encourage outside interests for each of us, in order to add to the quality and diversity in our lives?

Don’t be truthful; instead tell me exactly what you know I want to hear. Or, would you be brave enough to be different and think differently so we could both grow?

Some of us pretend love is the most important thing unless our partners stop buying us the best things and taking us to the best places. But when love is real, wouldn’t the best thing be your partner’s voice, your partner’s touch, your partner’s love …and wouldn’t the best place be in your partner’s arms?

We use a multitude of excuses for pretending and not speaking our truth in relationships. She can’t take it. It will hurt her. He’ll get angry. We use even more for not addressing issues, for refusing to ask for what we need and for hiding what we really feel. There is so much pretend we nearly forget we when are lying. All these lies have nothing to do with our partner’s feelings. It’s all about us not wanting to deal with the fall out from being truthful. We lie and pretend selfishly for ourselves. We wear masks with garish smiles and fake expressions. We use the same tired phraseology and empty conversation. Nice day dear? How do you feel? Fine, you? UGH! We cry fake tears or threaten to leave to get our way. Many of us have one foot out the door to greener grass we have imagined in our mind. Or we opt for the status quo, the real killer in relationships. I’ll pretend I still love you. You pretend you still love me and maybe the boat wont sink. But it does, more than 71% of the time, and we go down with it because relationships that are not built on truth never survive. The truth may at times be painful but it is ultimately always healing.

Is it any wonder that our relationships fail? We are not in them! Someone fake is.

It’s time to start telling the truth. It’s time to start being the truth. It’s time to wake up your relationship and honor it and your partner with character; integrity and the belief that you are both are worth honesty, presence and the real you. Maybe we can take a lesson from the kids. When Halloween night is over they take their masks and costumes off and go back to being real. Maybe we can too.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.

Heated Up!

“I have a right to express my anger,” he says. “But you are hurting me with your words and rage,” she responds. Who is right and who s wrong?

Both are right. However, what we are talking about is a much bigger question that is – what is the ethical way to express feelings of anger? No one should force feelings into denial, because they will come up again, often at inappropriate times, and create more separation between you and those you love. You lose energy, closeness and connection when you begin to hold any of your feelings down by not accepting them and expressing them fully. Your ability to stay healthy, both physically and mentally, and your ability to keep your relationship healthy, depends upon your ability to allow feelings to release through you freely so that they do not create dis-ease. However, the exercise of free will, or free release of feelings, also comes with an element of responsibility. That is, you cannot dump what you are holding inside in a way that feels abusive to another. I get to dump, all I want in fact, but I don’t get to dump on or at you!

I once had a roommate whose father was verbally and emotionally abusive. I had no idea how badly she had been hurt by him until we went to a weekend seminar together. We were about to leave the parking garage when the attendant stopped us, insisting he be paid. We had been informed parking was pre-paid so I began to launch into my fathers arrogance and give the attendant a piece of my mind. By the time I was finished, my friend was curled up in the seat and had flattened herself against the passenger door looking caught – like a deer in headlights! I immediately got that something was very wrong and for the next hour, we discussed what had happened to her as a child and how my outburst had affected her.

Apparently, when she was a child, her father would create a disturbance every place they went by berating the service people, demanding special attention, criticizing the food or service and in general humiliating my friend tremendously. She really got in touch with how terrifying that had been for her. My father was similar. He too raged about everything, and I had the opportunity to clearly see how his rage was still very much a part of how I dealt with my own perceived inequities and injustices in life. She internalized her father’s rage and made a decision to never take exception to anything. I internalized my father’s rage and was unfortunately able to see I still dealt with some issues, just as he did.

We made an agreement. Whenever I felt I just had to take a stand about an issue, I would let her know in advance and she could exercise the option of leaving the space and making herself safe. By keeping her in mind, I also gave myself the opportunity to slow down and ask myself if the injustice I was experiencing was first of all real, justified, worth making a scene over. In addition, slowing down gave me the time to ask myself if I was complaining to the right person. Very often a letter to management is much more effective than being upset at an attendant who has little or no control. Encountering this issue in my life helped me to heal the ways in which I vented misplaced anger.

In order to avoid making your partners, family or friends feel abused as we release strong feelings; we have to take responsibility for first discharging or dumping the intense energy behind those feelings in a safe way. After we release some of the intensity, we can then talk about the problem or the feelings together in a non-abusive manner. Much of that initial work should probably be done alone, or if it does not feel safe to be alone, with a therapist or a person who has good boundaries, and who does not come from an abusive environment. It is not OK to overpower anyone else with your feelings. If you do that, then you are perpetuating abuse.

Very often feelings, such as rage, just get triggered. In that instant, you may find that you do not have the control you would want to have and are unable to stop the response, or limit the expression. That’s why I recommend safe rooms in which one can yell, hit pillows, tear up phone books, scream, rant and rave – all of which are perfectly acceptable and healthy. Agreements must be kept that neither person will yell at, use abusive language to or about the other. Most of the time, the intense feelings that are triggered in the moment are really about the past and need to be released safely before it is possible to deal effectively with what is going on in the present situation anyway.

If you who are still into your sense of entitlement, you may be yelling now, “I should get to have my feelings exactly as they are and not have to limit myself.” That’s an interesting perception. Could it come from having been abused as a child by someone who felt exactly that same way? Did someone vent their feelings directly at you and is that the role model and scenario you are now repeating! It won’t work to your benefit and you’ll only end up wishing you had done it better, and in a more respectful way when the venting is over. One of the ways we diminish our own self-esteem is by continuing to behave in a manner that makes us feel disappointed in ourselves. The bottom line is that you both have a right to vent. And, you both have a right to feel safe and not have intense hostile feelings directed at you. With a little simple negotiation about safety and a willingness to learn on both your parts, you can have your cake and eat it too.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.

When Will I stop Hating You?

“I have been stuck in this old resentment for months. When am I going to be over this?” – a perplexing and painful question that I often hear from clients.

The first step is to make sure you are not beating yourself up for having old resentments! From a Zen perspective, if the issue continues to be an issue, or continues to arise, there is some part of it that still needs attention or is not yet resolved. Simply slow down, without any judgment on yourself or anyone else, try to see what part of this old issue is still attempting to get your attention.

A great deal of resentment comes from judgment. When you choose to judge someone else, you need to understand that your judgment about that person does not constitute a truth. If you choose to judge someone and access them as being selfish, for instance, – your judgment does not prove or define that person as a selfish person. In fact, it doesn’t change who they are a wit. However, your judgment does prove one thing, and that is you have the capacity to be a judgmental person. So step one is to get out of the illusion that your judgment is somehow hurting or getting back at the other person. It’s really only hurting you.

A person who is unable to forgive may have a sense of entitlement – a belief that you have the right to what you want or need regardless of who the other person is or what others want or need. You may have the belief that your partner, friend or family member should give up himself or herself to be who you need them to be. This however requires a perception that you are somehow fundamentally superior.

Holding back forgiveness can also be because one feels fundamentally inferior and refuses to forgive in order to maintain power. It’s about a power struggle. Beneath that arrogance and entitlement is really the terror of ridicule, rejection or abandonment. There is arrogance/control on our part for seeking forgiveness from someone who we know is not yet awake enough to give it. Chances are, you are not apt to get forgiveness from an unconscious person.

Another possibility about a lack of forgiveness or holding on to resentments is an unwillingness to own your own part in the issue. As long as we continue to project blame and shame on to another, we are in the illusion that there is something to forgive! Who is it that elected to dance with this person, stay in it with him or her, be co-opted into bad behavior or give our self up? This is about believing we have no personal responsibility or culpability. The lack of forgiveness oozes out in the form of anger, resentment, fear, sniping, being critical and blaming.

The good news is that for conscious or awake people there is great joy in taking personal responsibility because that = growth and aliveness. We get the lesson. People who are not conscious are more invested in being right, being in control or being in a position of authority and they may perceive taking personal responsibility as weakness.

Actually, the opposite is true. The “V” word, vulnerability, indicates a place of great power, teachability, openness to all things, willingness to change, = empowered.

Just remember that the pursuit of power without reverence or respect for the other person’s reality or pain is arrogance. Perhaps that person needs that experience on his or her path in order to bump to the next level. How many of you would be willing to give up all your lessons in life that have resulted in you being who you are today?

Courage is the essential core element of character. If you cannot own your mistakes – you cannot grow, You can’t have real relationship! In addition, you will never be impeccable in your integrity or able to stand in the power of your spirit. When you are unwilling to admit your mistakes, you are standing in your own ego, needing to be right. Einstein says, “Mistakes are simply the product of a courageous soul and an inquiring mind.”

You cannot control life or the people in it. You can ONLY have control over YOUR RESPONSE to what rises before you in life and what the people in your life do. Life happens – people are people and they make mistakes that grieve your spirit, and even more so their own. You will never stop that process. What you do with it – how you respond defines your level of awareness and your character. People will disappoint you – life may disappoint you – your job is to not disappoint your own self.

A lack of forgiveness may also be that we have not had the courage or the support to resolve the pain that we are still holding inside over the issue. When you are unwilling to resolve the pain and heal it – you stand in judgment or hold the other person responsible for that pain as a way of distancing from your hurt feelings. “Well she really hurt me”, is vastly different from “I really hurt myself by wanting something from her that she was not willing or able to give me.” Or, “I set myself up for hurt by emotionally leaving the relationship first.” Or,” I knew clearly who this person was and I chose to dance with him or her anyway.”

The final piece in our unwillingness to move into forgiveness is a lack of faith in ourselves or a fear about not being able to create what we really want. Rather than to go out and get our needs met or create what we say we want, it is easier to blame others for not giving it to us. It keeps us from going forward.

No one is responsible for your happiness, the quality of your life or the amount of love in it – except you! If your life is not what you want it to be, ask yourself “Why am I not giving myself what I need and want?” Why am I staying at a job that is not right? Why am I staying in a relationship with a substance abuser or any perpetrator? Why am I willing to be with someone who refuses to connect deeply with me? Most of the time the answer to that is FEAR!

Forgiveness does not mean you are condoning bad behavior. Forgiveness does not mean that you believe what the other person did was right. In fact, you may even have to leave that person or choose not to dance with him or her. However, you do so with unconditional love and positive regard for the painful lessons that person is experiencing on his or her path. We are all going to end up with the same level of awareness. Some of us are just taking detours.

Forgiveness means that you are healing the emotions inside of yourself that are not in alignment with your own spirit. Forgiveness means that you are able to see that the other person is a human being learning incredibly hard lessons about how to be spirit.

One last thing. Many of you may have someone you need to get to peace with that is not available to talk to you – because they have died or are no longer willing. Do a ritual, write a letter and burn it in your backyard, give yourself release and relief. After all, forgiveness is more about you than anyone else anyway.

© Dr. Dina Bachelor Evan 2013

All rights reserved. No part of the intellectual property of Dr. Dina Evan may be reproduced, placed on mechanical retrieval system, transmitted in any form by electronic, video, laser, mechanical photocopy, recording means or otherwise in part or in whole, without written permission of the author. Contents are fully copyrighted and may not be owned by any other individual or organization.